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the number of agriculture production in two different regions of the country

the number of agriculture production in two different regions of the country 8xAq5
The pie chart shows how much agricultural product produce in the Eastern region and the Western region of the country. In the Eastern region of the country, meat is the highest agricultural product which is 35% of total. The second highest is dairy product which is 30% and the lowest is grain with only 15% In contrast, the western region seems to be focusing on different agricultural products. Grain has the highest number in the western region which is up to 45% and 35% of meat but the dairy product is 15% and vegetables are only 5% of the western agricultural product which is very little compare to grain and meat. In the western region, grain has highest with almost half of the agricultural product but in the Eastern region agricultural products are more various
The pie chart
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shows
how much
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agricultural
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product
produce in the Eastern
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region
and the Western
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region
of the country.

In the Eastern
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region
of the country, meat is the highest
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agricultural
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product
which is 35% of total. The second highest is dairy
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product
which is 30% and the lowest is
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grain
with
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only
15%

In contrast
, the western
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region
seems to be focusing on
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different
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agricultural
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products
.
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Grain
has the highest number in the western
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region
which is up to 45% and 35% of meat
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but
the dairy
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product
is 15% and vegetables are
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only
5% of the western
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agricultural
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product
which is
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very
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little
compare to
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grain
and meat.

In the western
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region
,
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grain
has highest with almost half of the
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agricultural
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product
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but
in the Eastern
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region
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agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are more various
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IELTS academic the number of agriculture production in two different regions of the country

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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