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The diahram shows how sports shoes are made.

The diahram shows how sports shoes are made. QwQyy
The process diagram illustrates the process journey of shoes manufacture. Overall, this process consist of 11 steps. The first step is finalise the design and the last step is the delivery of shoes to shops or in foreign countries. The whole process takes 18 months. Firstly, the initial step would be finalise the design of shoes. After that, raw materials to be collected for manufacturing the shoes such as tannery leather and mill-fabric, rubber sole from other industry. Lator on, the upper part of the shoes would be cut for making. Next, this organs of shoes transfer for sewing and glue the top part together bottom part. After pasting, sport shoes turn to pack in box and that box is inserted in container Finally, the container shifts into warehouse now it is ready for shipping the products in shop or foreign nations.
The
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process
diagram illustrates the
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process
journey of
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shoes
manufacture.

Overall
, this
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process
consist of 11
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steps
. The
first
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step
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the design and the last
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step
is the delivery of
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shoes
to shops or in foreign countries. The whole
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process
takes 18 months.

Firstly
, the initial
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step
would be
Consider using the past participle "finalised"?
finalise
the design of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
. After that, raw materials to
be collected
for manufacturing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
such as tannery leather and mill-fabric, rubber sole from other industry.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lator
on, the upper part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
for making.
Next
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
organs of
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shoes
transfer for sewing and glue the top part together bottom part. After pasting, sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoes
turn to pack in box and that box
is inserted
in container

Finally
, the container shifts into warehouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is ready for shipping the products in shop or foreign nations.
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IELTS academic The diahram shows how sports shoes are made.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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