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TOURISM: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

TOURISM: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES VEd76
Tourism plays an important role in national income for many countries. It has some huge advantages; however, it also has some drawbacks. First, the main advantage of tourism is stepping up economic development. Because Tourists have to use a wide range of fundamental services such as transportation, hotels, restaurants, . . . . Especially having a lot of attractive places, more and more tourists come to be on vacation. From that point, service fees increase gradually. According to an article, tourism will contribute to Vietnam GDP more than 9, 2% in 2019. Second, one additional advantage is bringing a large number of new jobs. A number of young people after graduating don’t have a job or they need to go to another city to get a job. Thus, tourism provides great opportunities to reduce the unemployment rate. In addition, it prevents the population from being concentrated in big cities. Besides some big upsides, there are few downsides which I believe that we should focus on to make good. One negative aspect of tourism would be affecting the locals. Traffic jams are caused when tourists are on holiday, which disturbs the locals. Furthermore, tourism development can disrupt local people’s routine. People who work in tourism have to increase their working hours to satisfy customer needs. It seems to me that the most serious handicap is environmental pollution. Some travel agencies exploit too many natural resources. A lot of sea creatures are touched while tourists dive so that sea creatures are eroded or damaged. The large number of tourists can also cause water pollution while household waste from hotels, restaurants increases sharply, and they throw rubbish indiscriminately on the beach. To conclude, although there are some drawbacks, tourism has a large number of benefits. We need to develop strengths and overcome disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in national income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
huge advantages;
however
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
First
, the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is stepping up economic development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a wide range of fundamental services such as transportation, hotels, restaurants
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Especially
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attractive places, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to be on vacation. From that point, service fees increase
gradually
. According to an article,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will contribute to Vietnam GDP more than 9, 2% in 2019. Second, one additional advantage is bringing a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of new jobs. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after graduating don’t have a
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job or
they need to go to another city to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
provides great opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the population from
being concentrated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Besides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
upsides, there are few downsides which I believe that we should focus on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would be affecting the locals. Traffic jams
are caused
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are on holiday, which disturbs the locals.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
development can disrupt local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s routine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase their working hours to satisfy customer needs. It seems to me that the most serious handicap is environmental pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
travel agencies exploit too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
sea creatures
are touched
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
dive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that sea creatures
are eroded
or damaged. The large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can
also
cause water pollution while household waste from hotels, restaurants increases
sharply
, and they throw rubbish
indiscriminately
on the beach.
To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of benefits. We need to develop strengths and overcome disadvantages.
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IELTS academic TOURISM: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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