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Topic The diagram below shows the process of collecting rain water for use as drinking water in an Australian town v.2

Topic The diagram below shows the process of collecting rain water for use as drinking water in an Australian town v. 2
The picture illustrates the procedure of converting rain water into usable household water in a city located in Australia. In overall, there are five main steps, in which water undergoes two different processes: physical and chemical. In the first step, rain water is collected from the roof in a rainy day before being drained into a tank filled with pebbles to experience the first physical treatment. Those small stones will act as an absorbance factor, thus eliminating a huge amount of dust in raw water. After some times of being filtered, preliminary water is transferred into a reservoir in the third step to prepare for the second treatment, the chemical one. In the fourth stage, water is treated with some dedicated chemical substances to complete its treatment process. The water is then ready to put into use through a system of separate water pipes that supply drinking water to each household in town.
The picture illustrates the procedure of converting rain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into usable household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in a city located in Australia. In
overall
, there are five main steps, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
undergoes two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
processes: physical and chemical.

In the
first
step, rain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is collected
from the roof in a rainy day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being drained
into a tank filled with pebbles to experience the
first
physical treatment. Those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones will act as an absorbance factor,
thus
eliminating a huge amount of dust in raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times of
being filtered
, preliminary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is transferred
into a reservoir in the third step to prepare for the second treatment, the chemical one.

In the fourth stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is treated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dedicated chemical substances to complete its treatment process. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is then ready to put into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
through a system of separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pipes that supply drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to each household in town.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic Topic The diagram below shows the process of collecting rain water for use as drinking water in an Australian town v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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