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Top internet perchase categories by countries

Top internet perchase categories by countries 1obQM
The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (car, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling. Overall, the UK spent more money on consumer goods than France in the period given. Both the British and the French spent most of their money on cars whereas the least amount of money was spent on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France. Futhermore, the most significant difference in expenditure between the two countries was on cameras. In terms of car, people in the UK spent about £450, 000 on this as apposed to the French who spent £400, 000. Similarly, the British spent more money on books than the French (around £400, 000 and £300, 000 respectively. In the UK, expenditure on cameras (just over £350, 000) was double that of France, which was only 150, 000. On the other hand, the amount spent on the remaining goods was higher in France. Above £350, 000 was spent by the French on computers which was slightly more than the British who spent exactly £350, 000. Neither of the countries spent much on perfume which accounted for £200, 000 of expenditure in France but under £150, 000 in the UK.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
(car, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units
are measured
in pounds sterling.

Overall
, the UK
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spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than France in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Both the British and the French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cars whereas the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on perfume in the UK compared to cameras in France.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, the most significant difference in expenditure between the two countries was on cameras.

In terms of car,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
about £450, 000 on this as apposed to the French who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
£400, 000.
Similarly
, the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on books than the French
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
around £400, 000 and £300, 000
respectively
. In the UK, expenditure on cameras (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over £350, 000) was double that of France, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
150, 000.

On the other hand
, the amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
was higher in France. Above £350, 000 was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by the French on computers which was
slightly
more than the British who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
exactly £350, 000. Neither of the countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
much on perfume which accounted for £200, 000 of expenditure in France
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
under £150, 000 in the UK.
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IELTS academic Top internet perchase categories by countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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