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time tat spent in libraries

time tat spent in libraries rGGg2
The three pie charts illustrate how many hours was spent in library by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to other students at British University. It is noticeable that there was a big difference in using time of all students categories. Overwhelming majority of undergraduate and other students spent no more than 7 hours, whereas the vast majority of postgraduates spent over 15 hours. The pattern for postgraduates was completely different. Postgraduates spent significantly more time in library than two other groups of students. 51 percent of PhD spent more than 15 hours in library, while only 17 percent of postgraduates spent less than 7 hours. By contrast, all students and undergraduates had the opposite pattern. The vast majority of all students and juniors spent only 1 to 7 hours in library, 50 and 63 percent respectively. Tiny minority of undergraduates and all students spent more than 15 hours with 15 and 9 per. The biggest percentage of spending 8 to 14 was by all students.
The three pie charts illustrate how
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many
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hours
was
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spent
in library by
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undergraduates
and
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postgraduates
compared to other
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students
at British University.

It is noticeable that there was a
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big
difference in using time of all
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students
categories. Overwhelming majority of
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undergraduate
and other
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students
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spent
no more than 7
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hours
, whereas the vast majority of
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postgraduates
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spent
over 15
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hours
. The pattern for
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postgraduates
was completely
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different
.
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Postgraduates
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spent
significantly
more time in library than two other groups of
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students
. 51 percent of PhD
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spent
more than 15
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hours
in library, while
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only
17 percent of
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postgraduates
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spent
less than 7
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hours
. By contrast, all
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students
and
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undergraduates
had the opposite pattern. The vast majority of all
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students
and juniors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in library, 50 and 63 percent
respectively
. Tiny minority of
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undergraduates
and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more than 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
with 15 and 9 per. The biggest percentage of spending 8 to 14 was by all
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students
.
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IELTS academic time tat spent in libraries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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