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Thw bar charts show the marriage and divorce statistics of nine countries from 1981-1994

Thw bar charts show the marriage and divorce statistics of nine countries from 1981-1994 qV12P
There are two bar charts, one depicting marriage and the other illustrating divorce per thousand people in eight different countries over a period of 13 years. From the marriage bar chart it can be seen that in all the countries the marriage rates had come down, except in Denmark, where it increased. Across the years the USA had seen maximum number pf people getting married among the given countries; a little more than 10 people in every thousand used to get married in 1981. Even though the number reduced in 1994, still US was leading with 9 people getting married per thousand. Denmark was next in the queue for the same year with six people marrying out of a thousand. Divorce chart shows that in five out of eight countries divorce rates increased from 1981. Germany had a stable number of divorce cases, that is, two per thousand, whereas, Denmark and the USA saw a decreasing trend. Though Italy’s divorce rates are very minimal, with less than 0. 1% across the years, but it has increased more than double.
There are two bar charts, one depicting marriage and the other illustrating
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divorce
per thousand
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people
in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
over a period of 13 years.

From the marriage bar chart it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in all the
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countries
the marriage rates had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down, except in Denmark, where it increased. Across the years the USA had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
maximum number pf
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people
getting married among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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countries
; a
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little
more than 10
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people
in every thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married in 1981.
Even though
the number
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reduced
in 1994,
still
US was leading with 9
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people
getting married per thousand. Denmark was
next
in the queue for the same year with six
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people
marrying out of a thousand.

Divorce chart
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shows
that in five out of eight
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countries
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divorce
rates increased from 1981. Germany had a stable number of
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divorce
cases,
that is
, two per thousand, whereas, Denmark and the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decreasing trend. Though Italy’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
rates are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minimal, with less than 0. 1% across the years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has increased more than double.
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IELTS academic Thw bar charts show the marriage and divorce statistics of nine countries from 1981-1994

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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