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The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012.

The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012. kYLyR
The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012. Overall, although the figure for car theft and robbery is the same for the beginning and the end of the period, the number of incidents for burglary has decreased through the timeframe. In 2003, at the start of the period, burglary was the most committed crime, at approximately 3500 incidents per year, followed by the figure for car theft, which stood at under 3000. And, the proportion of robbery taking place was very low, at just over 500 each year. By 2008, all three different areas of crime decreased. At this time, the rate of burglary declined significantly down to just over 1000 happenings per year. After 2008, these crimes started to take place very increasingly. In following year, 2009, the number of burglaries taking place was at just about 1500. The proportion of stolen cars and robbery was around 2700 and 600 respectively. Then, it increased for the following three years, except burglary which remained the same until the end of the period. Surprisingly, in 2012, the figure for car theft and robbery was the same compared to 2003.
The line graph illustrates three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of
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crimes
that occurred in Newport city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
between 2003 and 2012.

Overall
, although the figure for
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car
theft and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
is the same for the beginning and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, the number of incidents for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
has decreased through the timeframe.

In 2003, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
was the most committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, at approximately 3500 incidents per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, followed by the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
theft, which stood at under 3000. And, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
taking place was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 500 each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. By 2008, all three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
decreased. At this time, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
declined
significantly
down to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 1000 happenings per year.

After 2008, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
increasingly
. In following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, 2009, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglaries
taking place was at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 1500. The proportion of stolen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
was around 2700 and 600
respectively
. Then, it increased for the following three years, except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
which remained the same until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Surprisingly
, in 2012, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
theft and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
was the same compared to 2003.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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