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The bar charts represents the population who owned computer at different educational level from 2002 to 2010.

The bar charts represents the population who owned computer at different educational level from 2002 to 2010. r8bNN
The bar charts represents the population who owned computer at different educational level from 2002 to 2010. During the 8 years of time period, there had been an increase to the usage of computer due to which, majority of people owned computers. The postgraduate qualification group was always the highest to the usage of such technology and almost 95% of people got dependant on the computer in 2010 and 80% in 2002. Therefore, No high school diploma group got attached to the computer least as compared to the other levels of education. It hit the 40% scale in 2012 and approximately 12% in 2002. Furthermore, we can observe that the usage of computer increased in 2010 of every group. This could be the reason in the advancement of education that gave a greater help to students to do their assignments, homework and research work with the help of internet and the computer technology.
The bar charts
You should probably use "represent".
represents
the population who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
computer at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
educational level from 2002 to 2010.

During the 8 years of time period, there had been an increase to the usage of computer due to which,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
computers.

The postgraduate qualification group was always the highest to the usage of such technology and almost 95% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Did you mean "dependent" on?
dependant
on the computer in 2010 and 80% in 2002.

Therefore
, No high school diploma group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
attached to the computer least as compared to the other levels of education. It hit the 40% scale in 2012 and approximately 12% in 2002.

Furthermore
, we can observe that the usage of computer increased in 2010 of every group. This could be the reason in the advancement of education that gave a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to students to do their assignments, homework and research work with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet and the computer technology.
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IELTS academic The bar charts represents the population who owned computer at different educational level from 2002 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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