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This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017.

This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017. 30JAb
This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017. While all cities saw a net increase in annual population growth by 2011, and the most dramatic increases happened between 2007 and 2010. In spite of this overall trend, there were a number of rises and falls in growth, with all cities showing a decrease in growth in 2011. Although it started out with the least annual growth, Melbourne’s growth accelerated the most overall, starting with only a roughly 23k increase in people in 1992, but gaining around 110, 000 people in 2017. Brisbane started out with nearly as little growth as Melbourne, but had a lower net gain, rising from slightly over 23k growth in 1992 to a gain of merely 50, 000 by 2017. Sydney started out with the highest growth rate at 30, 000 in a year, but ended with 105, 000 annual growth by the end of the period, just behind Melbourne.
This line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017.

While all cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a net increase in annual population
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growth
by 2011, and the most dramatic increases happened between 2007 and 2010.
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In spite of
this
overall
trend, there were a number of rises and falls in
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growth
, with all cities showing a decrease in
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growth
in 2011.

Although it
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started
out with the least annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, Melbourne’s
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growth
accelerated the most
overall
, starting with
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only
a roughly 23k increase in
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people
in 1992,
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but
gaining around 110, 000
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people
in 2017. Brisbane
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started
out with
nearly
as
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little
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growth
as Melbourne,
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but
had a lower net gain, rising from
slightly
over 23k
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growth
in 1992 to a gain of
merely
50, 000 by 2017. Sydney
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started
out with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate at 30, 000 in a year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ended with 105, 000 annual
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growth
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
behind Melbourne.

IELTS academic This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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