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The rate of highest qualification of school leavers between 2004 to 2007

The rate of highest qualification of school leavers between 2004 to 2007 YRl25
This chart illustrates the rate of highest qualification of school leavers obtained between 2004 to 2007. It shows whether they qualify for level 3, level 2, or none. Overall, the school leavers obtained with level 2 and 3 qualifications showed a rising trend, while none qualification remarkably decreased. Throughout all period, 2007 had the highest percentage of level 3 certificates, while 2004 had the least. The highest rates of level 3 qualifications of school leavers were in 2007, at around 32%, followed by both 2006 and 2005 at approximately 30%. In 2004, had a relatively lower percentage, at about 28%. With regards to level 2 qualifications, 2007 was 55%, still being the highest rate. In 2004 and 2007, remain likely stable, with 50% and 49% respectively. Whereas 2004 remained the lowest around 45%. In particular, there was a tremendous decrease in the rate of no exam students from 2004 to 2007, with 13% against 5%. While the rates in level 2 and 3 qualifications of school leavers were relatively similar in both 2005 and 2006, there was some variance. The rate of people who did not attend examinations in 2005 was half that of 2006, with 8% in contrast to 4%.
This chart illustrates the
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rate
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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qualification
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
obtained
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2004 and 2007".
between 2004 to 2007
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
whether they qualify for
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level
3,
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level
2, or none.

Overall
, the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
obtained with
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level
2 and 3
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qualifications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rising trend, while none
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qualification
remarkably
decreased. Throughout all period, 2007 had the highest percentage of
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level
3 certificates, while 2004 had the least.

The highest
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rates
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
were in 2007, at around 32%, followed by both 2006 and 2005 at approximately 30%. In 2004, had a
relatively
lower percentage, at about 28%.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
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level
2
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qualifications
, 2007 was 55%,
still
being the highest
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rate
. In 2004 and 2007, remain likely stable, with 50% and 49%
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
2004 remained the lowest around 45%.

In particular
, there was a tremendous decrease in the
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rate
of no exam students from 2004 to 2007, with 13% against 5%. While the
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rates
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
2 and 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
were
relatively
similar in both 2005 and 2006, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variance. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did not attend examinations in 2005 was half that of 2006, with 8%
in contrast
to 4%.
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IELTS academic The rate of highest qualification of school leavers between 2004 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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