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This line graph presents some details about employment

This line graph presents some details about employment 73KP2
This line graph presents some details about employment of teachers in one city for 7 year. Overall, applications for English language teachers and french language teachers have been reduced but after 3 years which are increased. Both of two courses were very close to each other at first, but after some years were far from together. French language in 2001 had few request than English and next year decreased more and approached to 50% in 2002 but suddenly increased and rose to 70% and more until 2007. In this year amount of two lines took a long distance from each other. (50% difrences) Contrarily, firstable teachers were more eager for English(75%) but in falled down abruptly for 3 years and stablished at 40 percent from 2003 to 2005. Secondable after 2005 again plunged to 30 percent in 2006 and dipped down to 25% in 2007 repeatedly and after 7 years English language's line had a long distance from French language's line in this graph.
This
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line
graph presents
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some
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details
about employment of
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teachers
in one city for 7 year.

Overall
, applications for English language
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teachers
and
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
language
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teachers
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
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but
after 3 years which
are increased
. Both of two courses were
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very
close to each other at
first
,
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but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years were far from together.

French language in 2001 had
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few request
than English and
next
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year
decreased more and approached to 50% in 2002
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but
suddenly
increased and rose to 70% and more until 2007. In this
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year
amount of two
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lines
took a long distance from each other. (50%
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difrences
)

Contrarily
,
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firstable
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teachers
were more eager for English(75%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
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falled
down
abruptly
for 3 years and
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stablished
at 40 percent from 2003 to 2005.
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Secondable
after 2005 again plunged to 30 percent in 2006 and dipped down to 25% in 2007
repeatedly
and after 7 years English language's
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line
had a long distance from French language's
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line
in this graph.
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IELTS academic This line graph presents some details about employment

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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