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Pie chart tells about the volunteers

Pie chart tells about the volunteers m3DDd
The pie charts describes the number of people who are volunteering for different kinds of organization between 2008 and 2014. Overall, most of the people volunteering for education and environment is higher in 2008. Whereas in 2014 significant volunteers works for sport organization. It is evident that, in 2008 24% volunteers were working for education. Then, it showed significant increase, and it reached to 29% in 2014. Secondly, 24% of people were volunteering for environmental organization, but percentage of volunteers drastically decreased in 2014. For art, number of volunteers in 2008 was 18%. After that, in 2014 percentage of volunteers decreased. similarly, people who volunteering for other organisations declined from 15% in 2008 to 9% in 2014. Organization like health care and sport showed raise in amount of volunteers. In 2008, 7% of people worked as a volunteer for health care. In 2014, where health care volunteers increased slightly. Lastly, number of volunteers in sports were only 15% in 2008, but it increased to 25% in 2014.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for
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different
kinds of organization between 2008 and 2014.

Overall
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for education and environment is higher in 2008. Whereas in 2014 significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
works for sport organization.

It is evident that, in 2008 24%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
were working for education. Then, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
significant increase, and it reached to 29% in 2014.
Secondly
, 24% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for environmental organization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
drastically
decreased in 2014. For art, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
in 2008 was 18%. After that, in 2014 percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
decreased.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
for other
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
declined from 15% in 2008 to 9% in 2014. Organization like health care and sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
raise in amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
. In 2008, 7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worked as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
for health care. In 2014, where health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
increased
slightly
.
Lastly
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
in sports were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% in 2008,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increased to 25% in 2014.
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IELTS academic Pie chart tells about the volunteers

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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