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This diagram explains the overall process of the production of milk.

This diagram explains the overall process of the production of milk. m7JA
This diagram explains the overall process of the production of milk. It involves 6-7 steps in total starting from grazing of cows to the dispatching of milk bottles to the markets. In the first stage, the cows, after the grazing are sent to a place were milking is done twice a day, with the help of a machine. The milk collected is then refrigerated and stored in large containers. In the second stage, the milk tanker is then delivered to the dairy everyday. Inside he dairy, gallons of milk undergoes a lot of machines where is it not only pasteurized but also by products of milk like cheese, cream and butter are also produced subsequently. In the third stage, the pasteurized milk is then packed in bottles in the factories. In the last stage, milk bottles are sealed and packed safely in cartons and delivered to the various places like supermarkets and shops where it could be easily accessed by the people.
This diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the
overall
process of the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
. It involves 6-7 steps in total starting from grazing of cows to the dispatching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
bottles to the markets.

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the cows, after the grazing are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a place were milking
is done
twice a day, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a machine. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
collected is then refrigerated and stored in large containers. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
tanker is then delivered to the dairy
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.

Inside
Did you mean "the"?
he
dairy, gallons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
undergoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
machines where is it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pasteurized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by products of
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milk
like cheese, cream and butter are
also
produced
subsequently
.

In the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the pasteurized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is then packed in bottles in the factories.

In the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
bottles
are sealed
and packed
safely
in cartons and delivered to the various places like supermarkets and shops where it could be
easily
accessed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS academic This diagram explains the overall process of the production of milk.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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