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This chart shows percentage of recruitment for teachers 3

This chart shows percentage of recruitment for teachers 3 x8Dw6
This chart shows percentage of recruitment for teachers who tought english and french language to student in ontario during 6 years between 2001 to 2007. Overall at the 2001 both of two language teachers (english & french) were included about 70 percent so after fell and rose for percentage of two group in 2007 french language teachers were became more than the english language teachers. In 2001 recruiment of english language teachers nearly the same to another one but this percentage with sharply decreased until two years and reached about 40 percent in 2003, but after that with slowly rose get to 45 percent and again in 2007 had to steeply decresed and this percentage became 30 percent. In contrast recuirment of french language teachers at first to be 70 percent and during one year with signtificantly fell reached about 50 percent, after one year returned to pervious state. In 2003 until 2006 had no change in percentage and levelled out, but during one year in 2006 to 2007 with gradually rose get to 75 percent, as a result up to english language teachers.
This chart
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shows
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percentage
of recruitment for teachers

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who
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tought
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english
and
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
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language
to student in
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ontario
during 6 years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2001 and 2007".
between 2001 to 2007
.

Overall
at the 2001 both of two
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language
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teachers
(
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english
& french)
were included
about 70
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percent
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so
after fell and rose for
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percentage
of two group in 2007
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
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language
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teachers
were
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
more than the
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english
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language
teachers.

In 2001
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recruiment
of
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english
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language
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teachers
nearly
the same to another one
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but
this
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percentage
with
sharply
decreased until two years and reached about 40
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percent
in 2003,
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but
after that with
slowly
rose
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get
to 45
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percent
and again in 2007 had to
steeply
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decresed
and this
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percentage
became 30 percent.

In
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contrast
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recuirment
of
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
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language
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teachers
at
first
to be 70
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percent
and during one
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year
with
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signtificantly
fell reached about 50
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percent
, after one
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year
returned to
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pervious
state.
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In
2003 until 2006 had no
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change
in
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percentage
and levelled out,
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but
during one
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year
in 2006 to 2007 with
gradually
rose
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get
to 75
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percent
,
as a result
up to
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english
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language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
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IELTS academic This chart shows percentage of recruitment for teachers 3

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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