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The table shows that the employment og age groups.

The table shows that the employment og age groups. jV5YL
The table compares information about the jobholder of three separate age groups in various sectors. Overall, most of the jobholders prefer to do work in manufacturing, other and local government sectors. However, in each group similar number of workers do work at 3 different sectors while the least number number of employees like to do work at law and accountancy sectors. in terms of manufacturing sector, the highest number of workers who from every group, 12, 15 and 23 respectively. In the sector of local government, the highest number of workers at 40-65 ege group whereas least at 18-25 age group. In other sector, although most of the jobholders from 18-25 age group, the lowest from 40-65 age group. On the other hand, the number of workers from 3 age group are similar at agriculture whereas health and education sector are same. The least number of jobholders in law and accountancy among the table.
The table compares information about the jobholder of three separate
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age
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groups
in various sectors.

Overall
, most of the jobholders prefer to do work in manufacturing, other and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
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sectors
.
However
, in each
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group
similar
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number
of
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workers
do work at 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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sectors
while the least
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number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of employees like to do work at law and accountancy sectors.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
terms of manufacturing
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sector
, the highest
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number
of
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workers
who from every
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group
, 12, 15 and 23
respectively
. In the
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sector
of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
at 40-65
Possible spelling mistake found.
ege
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
whereas least at 18-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. In other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, although most of the jobholders from 18-25
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, the lowest from 40-65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

On the other hand
, the
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number
of
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workers
from 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are similar at agriculture whereas health and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
are same. The least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of jobholders in law and accountancy among the table.
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IELTS academic The table shows that the employment og age groups.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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