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The bar charts below show the marriage

The bar charts below show the marriage Bwa6p
Two given bar charts provide information about marriages and divorces for eight different countries in 1981 and 1994. Overall, it can be clearly seen that statistics of marriages dramatically higher than divorces. However, almost in every country figures of weddings were larger in 1981, for annulments numbers are various. As it presented, quantity of marriages in all countries were significantly bigger in 1981 than 13 years later, except the European country which is Denmark where difference between two years approximately 2 and the largest amount is in 1994 year. State of divorces is not similar, there is only USA and Denmark where numbers 13 years earlier are higher, in UK, Japan, Finland, Germany and Italy it is the other way around. There is one country is different from others, where counts are remain steady. In both illustrations USA had the largest rates, while Italy had considerably gap from the remaining states in the figure of dissolutions.
Two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar charts provide information about marriages and divorces for eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 1981 and 1994.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that statistics of marriages
dramatically
higher than divorces.
However
, almost in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
figures of weddings were larger in 1981, for annulments numbers are various.

As it presented, quantity of marriages in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were
significantly
bigger in 1981 than 13 years later, except the European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is Denmark where difference between two years approximately 2 and the largest amount is in 1994 year.

State of divorces is not similar, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
USA and Denmark where numbers 13 years earlier are higher, in UK, Japan, Finland, Germany and Italy it is the other way around. There is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others, where counts are
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
steady. In both illustrations USA had the largest rates, while Italy had
considerably
gap from the remaining states in the figure of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissolutions
.
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IELTS academic The bar charts below show the marriage

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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