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This bar chart gives information about the amounts of electricity produced and consumed in 10 countries.

This bar chart gives information about the amounts of electricity produced and consumed in 10 countries. rbPDk
The diagram displays the production and consumption of electricity in 10 countries. Overall, it can be seen that the amounts of electricity produced and consumed in China and the United States were higher than the other nations. Germany consumed more electricity than this country could produce. With regard to China, this country ranked first in the production and consumption of electricity, with over 5000 billions kWh. The US, which is the second largest electricity producer and consumer, produced 4, 099 billion kWh and consumed 3, 866 billion kWh. The remaining nations, Russia produced and consumed over 1000 billion Kwh. The subsequent countries were Japan, India, Canada, France and Brazil. Germany and Korean Rep showed a difference in the chart, which were the significantly lowest statistic in the field, they created 449, 5 billion Kwh and 582. 5 billion Kwh with consumption of electricity while their production of electricity gained 485. 1 billion kWh and 526. 1 Billion kWh of the graph.
The diagram displays the production and consumption of
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electricity
in 10 countries.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the amounts of
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electricity
produced and
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consumed
in China and the United States were higher than the other nations. Germany
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consumed
more
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electricity
than this country could produce.

With regard to China, this country ranked
first
in the production and consumption of
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electricity
, with over 5000
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billions
kWh. The US, which is the second largest
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electricity
producer and consumer, produced 4, 099
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billion
kWh and
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consumed
3, 866
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billion
kWh.

The remaining nations, Russia produced and
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consumed
over 1000
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
subsequent countries were Japan, India, Canada, France and Brazil. Germany and Korean Rep
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showed
a difference in the chart, which were the
significantly
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
statistic in the field, they created 449, 5
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
and 582. 5
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billion
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kwh
with consumption of
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electricity
while their production of
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electricity
gained 485. 1
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billion
kWh and 526. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
kWh of the graph.
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IELTS academic This bar chart gives information about the amounts of electricity produced and consumed in 10 countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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