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There are tree different diagrams which depict the total UK school spending in 1981, 1991 and 2001

There are tree different diagrams which depict the total UK school spending in 1981, 1991 and 2001 jo6ML
There are tree different diagrams which depict the total UK school spending in 1981, 1991 and 2001. School expanses consist of 5 categories which are insurance, other workers salaries, teachers’ salaries and furniture and equipment. First of all, the first category is that “other workers’ salaries” in 1981 was the highest rate among all years which is 28 percent. It has decreased by every ten years which means school administration is less likely to spend money over years. The highest amount of spending money for resources eg. Books are highest in the year of 1991 which is 20 percent compare to other years. The lowest amount of spending money for resources was in 2001 which is 9 percent. Payment of insurance in 1981 and 1991 is roughly similar to each other however; spending money for insurance increased to 4 percent by 2001. School has paid highest amount of money for furniture and equipment in 2001 which is 23 percent on the other hand; lowest amount is 5 percent in 1991. In conclusion, According to all the pie charts, the highest amount of money was paid 50 percent for teachers income. In the category of insurance was the lowest money which is 2 percent.
There are tree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diagrams which depict the total UK
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school
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spending
in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
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School
expanses consist of 5 categories which are
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insurance
,
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other
workers salaries, teachers’ salaries and furniture and equipment.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
first
category is that
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“other
workers’ salaries” in 1981 was the highest rate among all years which is 28
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percent
. It has decreased by every ten years which means
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school
administration is less likely to spend
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money
over years. The highest
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amount
of
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spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for resources
The abbreviation "e.g." (= for example) requires two periods.
eg.
Books are highest in the
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year
of 1991 which is 20
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percent
compare to
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other
years. The lowest
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for resources was in 2001 which is 9
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percent
. Payment of
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insurance
in 1981 and 1991 is roughly similar to each
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other
however
;
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spending
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money
for
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insurance
increased to 4
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percent
by 2001.
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School
has paid
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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amount
of
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money
for furniture and equipment in 2001 which is 23
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percent
on the
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other
hand; lowest
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amount
is 5
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percent
in 1991.

In conclusion
, According to all the pie charts, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
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money
was paid
50
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percent
for teachers income. In the category of
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insurance
was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic There are tree different diagrams which depict the total UK school spending in 1981, 1991 and 2001

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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