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the island before and the after the construction

the island before and the after the construction AB1AN
There are two charts of an island which demonstrate before and after the establishment of new facilities for vacationists. however; the island has become a living space for people which includes bungalows, restaurants after the construction. First of all, the first map depicts the empty island surrounded by the sea which was before the construction. In this process, the island consisted of pieces of land with several trees. There is a beach on the west side of the island. Most of the trees have been in the east part of it. Secondly, another map illustrates the island after the construction. People enable to come to the pier by sails which is next to the reception center. There is a vehicle track from the Pier to the Reception. The restaurant is behind the reception which people can come by car. There are buildings for tourists on the two sides of the island. The first accommodation center is closed to the beach in the west where people can swim. Individuals can walk through the coast. The buildings are next to each other and form a circle and there are trees in the middle. The second one is on the right side of the reception and the restaurant which is nearby trees. On the east side of the island is still empty land with several trees which is similar to the first map. In conclusion, the island has changed a lot after the establishment of the new facilities, however; the east side of the island is the as same as before the construction. The trees are still standing there in both processes. The island has become a comfortable living space for the tourist after some changes.
There are two charts of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
which demonstrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the establishment of new facilities for vacationists.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
has become a living space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which includes bungalows, restaurants after the construction.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
first
map depicts the empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
surrounded by the sea which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the construction. In this process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
consisted of pieces of land with several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
. There is a beach on the west side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
have been in the east part of it.

Secondly
, another map illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
after the construction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
enable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the pier by sails which is
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
center. There is a vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
from the Pier to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reception
. The restaurant is behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by car. There are buildings for tourists on the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. The
first
accommodation center
is closed
to the beach in the west where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can swim. Individuals can walk through the coast. The buildings are
next
to each other and form a circle and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in the middle. The second one is on the right side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
and the restaurant which is nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
. On the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
is
still
empty land with several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
which is similar to the
first
map.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot after the establishment of the new facilities,
however
; the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
is the as same as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the construction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are
still
standing there in both processes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
has become a comfortable living space for the tourist after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
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IELTS academic the island before and the after the construction

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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