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The number of noise complaints to Enviromental Health authorities

The number of noise complaints to Enviromental Health authorities LBjxR
The multiple line graph illustrates the amount of noise complaints to Environmental Health authorities made by people who living in the city of Newtown. The information was recorded during 16 years, between 1980 and 1996. Overall, the number of complaints from the domestic or household, traffic noise and factories were increased, in the other hand only road working got less complaints. Meanwhile looking back to the starting year, the most cases came from the road works, by the way these numbers were lowing down until 1996 with only 80 complaints. However, not only the traffic noise was the lowest number of problems in 1980 but also had the same trend as domestic or household issue with 200 constantly lower cases, until in 1988 domestic problem was surged and ended with the highest amount of complaints in 1996. Whereas the factories complaints was continuously increased, after in 1986 the number of cases were stable.
The multiple line graph illustrates the amount of noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
to Environmental Health authorities made by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who living in the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newtown
. The information
was recorded
during 16 years, between 1980 and 1996.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
from the domestic or household, traffic noise and factories
were increased
, in the other hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
road working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun complaints is countable.
less
complaints.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
looking back to the starting year, the most cases came from the road works, by the way these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were lowing down until 1996 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
.
However
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the traffic noise was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of problems in 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
had the same trend as domestic or household issue with 200
constantly
lower cases, until in 1988 domestic problem
was surged
and ended with the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
in 1996. Whereas the factories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
was
continuously
increased, after in 1986 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases were stable.
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IELTS academic The number of noise complaints to Enviromental Health authorities

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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