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The table depicts the process of the Salmon’s life cycle which is a large fish species.

The table depicts the process of the Salmon’s life cycle which is a large fish species. 7JYl2
The table depicts the process of the Salmon’s life cycle which is a large fish species. The diagrams consist of three steps. First of all, Salmon fishes lay their eggs under the reeds which is a plant and live in the upper river. In addition to this, there are small rocks next to the roots of the reeds in the river. The salmon eggs are ovulated under the stones. After that, Baby salmons get out of the eggs after 5-6 months later and become fry fish. In the second step, they immigrate to the lower river which flows very fast. They start living here for nearly 4 years. After this process, their size becomes larger than the previous phase which is called “smolt” and 12-15 cm. Finally, they move to the open sea and live there for nearly 5 years that process helps them to be adult salmon who is 70-76cm. In conclusion, Salmons have been moving various of water that aid them to be grown up. Moreover, becoming an adult for salmons is a long process as I mentioned above.
The table depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of the Salmon’s life cycle which is a large fish species. The diagrams consist of three steps.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Salmon fishes lay their eggs under the reeds which is a plant and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the upper river.
In addition
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rocks
next
to the roots of the reeds in the river. The salmon eggs
are ovulated
under the stones. After that, Baby salmons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the eggs after 5-6 months later and become fry fish. In the second step, they immigrate to the lower river which flows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living here for
nearly
4 years. After this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, their size becomes larger than the previous phase which
is called
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
” and 12-15 cm.
Finally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the open sea and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there for
nearly
5 years that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be adult salmon who is 70
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "-76 cm"
-76cm
.

In conclusion
, Salmons have been moving various of water that aid them to
be grown
up.
Moreover
, becoming an adult for salmons is a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
as I mentioned above.
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IELTS academic The table depicts the process of the Salmon’s life cycle which is a large fish species.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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