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The vertical bar graph represents the leisure activities of Australia children aged 5-15. The data is calibrated in percentage.

The vertical bar graph represents the leisure activities of Australia children aged 5-15. The data is calibrated in percentage. AJm3l
The vertical bar graph represents the leisure activities of Australia children aged 5-15. The data is calibrated in percentage. Out of the 50, 000 children surveyed it is apparent that watching TV or videos was most popular leisure activities. In addition, second most popular activities preferred by 85% of boys and 60 % of girls was playing electronic or computer games. Girls rated activities such as art & craft 60% however, only 30% of boys like this activities. Bike riding on other hand, was popular as electronics or videos games. Sake Bording was rally’s popular amongst as girls and boys although it still 35% of boys and 20% of girls. In short, it can be clearly seen that watching TV or videos was most popular leisure activities, on other hand, skateboarding was rarely in pastimes activities for both boys and girls.
The vertical bar graph represents the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of Australia children aged 5-15. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Out of the 50, 000 children surveyed it is apparent that watching TV or videos was most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In addition
, second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
preferred by 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 60 % of girls was playing electronic or computer games.

Girls rated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as art & craft 60%
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
like
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Bike riding on other hand, was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
as electronics or videos games. Sake
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bording
was rally’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
amongst as girls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
although it
still
35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 20% of girls.

In short, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that watching TV or videos was most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, on other hand, skateboarding was rarely in pastimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls.
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IELTS academic The vertical bar graph represents the leisure activities of Australia children aged 5-15. The data is calibrated in percentage.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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