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The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of buying goods over the internet for retail sectors in the years 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of buying goods over the internet for retail sectors in the years 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand. X7g9A
Overall, the highest percent (36%) of people would like to book ticket online for travel in 2003 while, most population in New Zealand prefer to watch film or music with 33 percent in 2013. From the first pie chart, in 2003 the percentage of people who buy books online are extremely low (19%). When compare the percentage of do online shopping on clothes is less than on film and music with the percentage of 21% and 24%. A plethora of humans in New Zealand using internet for travel bookings is higher than others services in 2003. To begin with second pie chart, in 2013 people were not interested to spend time on purchasing clothes online with 16 percent. More percentage of people want to listen music or watch film in online (33%) than reading books through internet 22%. To sum up, the percentage of do online shopping for travel and film in 2003 and 2013 were reported high in New Zealand respectively.
Overall
, the highest percent (36%) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to book ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
for travel in 2003 while, most population in New Zealand prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
film or music with 33 percent in 2013. From the
first
pie chart, in 2003 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
extremely
low (19%). When compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping on clothes is less than on film and music with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 21% and 24%. A plethora of humans in New Zealand using internet for travel bookings is higher than others services in 2003.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with second pie chart, in 2013
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not interested to spend time on purchasing clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with 16 percent. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to listen music or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
film in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
(33%) than reading books through internet 22%.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping for travel and film in 2003 and 2013
were reported
high in New Zealand
respectively
.

IELTS academic The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of buying goods over the internet for retail sectors in the years 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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