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Amount and types of water in world, and also the use of water in three areas in three countries.

Amount and types of water in world, and also the use of water in three areas in three countries. QKkjy
The graph depicts the amount and types of water available around the world, as well as the consumption of water in three different countries: Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Canada. Overall, there is a shortage of fresh water throughout the planet. When compared to the amount of frozen water (glaciers and permanent snow), the amount of frozen water (glaciers and permanent snow) is higher. Saline water contains 97. 50% of total world water, with fresh water accounting for the remaining 2. 50%. The second pie chart shows that a little more than two-thirds (69. 80 percent) of fresh water is frozen in the form of glaciers and permanent snows. Fresh underground water, on the other hand, accounts for more than a fifth of the total (29. 90 percent ). Lastly, only fresh renewable water and subsurface ice make up the remaining 1%. From the column graph, the rate of agricultural in Saudi Arabia is the highest. Hence the other two sectors: Domestic andIndustry is seemed to be low with nearly 7% and 18% of water. Followed by the water used in Egypt, 40 per cent of water goes for agriculture purpose, comparing with domestic use and industrial use which make up approximately 9%. However, industrial purpose is seemed to be the highest in Canada with 45% maximum. Agriculture constitutes over 30% which dominates by 10% of water used in domestic use.
The graph depicts the amount and types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
available around the world,
as well
as the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries: Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Canada.

Overall
, there is a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
throughout the planet. When compared to the amount of frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
(glaciers and permanent snow), the amount of frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
(glaciers and permanent snow) is higher. Saline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contains 97. 50% of total world
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water
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
accounting for the remaining 2. 50%. The second pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than two-thirds (69. 80 percent) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is frozen
in the form of glaciers and permanent snows.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fresh
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
on the other hand
, accounts for more than a fifth of the total (29. 90 percent
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and subsurface ice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up the remaining 1%.

From the column graph, the rate of agricultural in Saudi Arabia is the highest.
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Hence
the other two sectors: Domestic
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andIndustry
is seemed
to be low with
nearly
7% and 18% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Followed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Egypt, 40 per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes for agriculture purpose, comparing with domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up approximately 9%.
However
, industrial purpose
is seemed
to be the highest in Canada with 45% maximum. Agriculture constitutes over 30% which dominates by 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS academic Amount and types of water in world, and also the use of water in three areas in three countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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