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The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Britain and Australia in 1991

The two pic charts illustrate the information about the different patterns of employment in Britain and Australia in 1991It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that in Australia the percentage of crafts or similar was at highest position that accounted for 40%. it was followed by clerical or related employment with 19%. Next management was recorded with 6% and 7% respectively. Same trend show by mannual and non- mannual with 13% and 15%Moving towards Britain', the highest contribute in employment by other mannual that accounted for 35% and just 5% less by craft bor similar. The percentage of general labourers, managerial and professional were 18% and 10% respectively. The contribution in employment by clerical or related and other non- manual were negligible.
The two pic charts illustrate the information about the
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different
patterns of
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employment
in Britain and Australia in 1991It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie chart that in Australia the percentage of crafts or similar was at highest position that accounted for 40%. it
was followed
by clerical or related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
with 19%.
Next
management
was recorded
with 6% and 7%
respectively
. Same trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
by mannual and non- mannual with 13% and 15%Moving towards Britain', the highest contribute in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
by other mannual that accounted for 35% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% less by craft bor similar. The percentage of general labourers, managerial and professional were 18% and 10%
respectively
. The contribution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
by clerical or related and other non- manual were negligible.

IELTS academic The two pie charts below show some employment patterns in Britain and Australia in 1991

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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