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The two pie chart compares the percentile of travelers to commute to university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 using five different transport methods.

The two pie chart compares the percentile of travelers to commute to university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 using five different transport methods. L1B6
The two pie chart compares the percentile of travelers to commute to university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 using five different transport methods. In general, the car and bus were the most preferable vehicles in the year 2004 and 2009 with the maximum percentage. In 2004, just over half of the commuters (51%) traveling to university used cars as the main mode of transport whereas the second most favorable traveling method was a bus with 33% of the total. However, the figure for car users experienced a sharp downfall in the ratio with over a quarter (28%). On the other side, after the five-year period, the percentage of bus-based travelers rise by 11% from the previous ratio. This trend of preferring bus over car could be attributed to installing new bus stop in 2006 and alternation to the car park in 2008. An upward pattern was observed in the proportion of pedestrians, train passengers, and bicycle riders. Marginally more people chose to travel train or walked to the university from 2004 to 2009. These are the least favored by travelers.
The two pie chart compares the percentile of travelers to commute to university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 using five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transport methods.
In general
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and bus were the most preferable vehicles in the year 2004 and 2009 with the maximum percentage.

In 2004,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over half of the commuters (51%) traveling to university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as the main mode of transport whereas the second most favorable traveling method was a bus with 33% of the total.

However
, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users experienced a sharp downfall in the ratio with over a quarter (28%). On the other side, after the five-year period, the percentage of bus-based travelers rise by 11% from the previous ratio. This trend of preferring bus over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
could
be attributed
to installing new bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
in 2006 and alternation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
park in 2008.

An upward pattern
was observed
in the proportion of pedestrians, train passengers, and bicycle riders.
Marginally
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose to travel train or walked to the university from 2004 to 2009. These are the least favored by travelers.
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IELTS academic The two pie chart compares the percentile of travelers to commute to university for work or study from 2004 to 2009 using five different transport methods.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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