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the diagram below show the life cycle of species of large fish called the salmon

the diagram below show the life cycle of species of large fish called the salmon JnL5
The given diagram illustrate the life process of one of the largest fish which we also know as salmon. Overall, it is clearly seen that salmon is growing with time and mergrate into sea and rivers. In first stage when salmon are only 3 to 8 cm long they were know as ‘fry’. it is located in lower river. where flow of water so fast and they live there for approx 4 years. in second stage when babies salmon start moving towards open sea. they become large in size which is approx 12 to 15 cm and we called them ‘smolt’. finally, In the last stage when baby salmon become adult they shift in upper river where water flow is slow. but they live there for short period of time approx 5 to 6 months. In upper river there are alot of reeds and they surrouned by small stones in which they produce salmons eggs. through there is cycle get start. To sum up, the actual size of salmon fish is 70 to 76 cm and it is of a species which is large in size.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrate the life process of one of the largest fish which we
also
Did you mean "known"?
know
as salmon.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that salmon is growing with time and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mergrate
into sea and rivers.

In
first
stage when salmon are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 to 8 cm long they were
Did you mean "known", "now" or "no"?
know
as ‘fry’.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is located
in lower river.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
where
flow of water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fast and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there for approx 4 years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
second stage when babies salmon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
moving towards open sea.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
become
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
large in size
which is approx 12 to 15
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cm and
we called them ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
’.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, In the last stage when baby salmon become adult they shift in upper river where water flow is slow.
Use a comma before 'but' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there for short period of time approx 5 to 6 months. In upper river there
Possible spelling mistake found.
are alot
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reeds and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrouned
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones in which they produce salmons eggs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
through
there is cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.

To sum up, the actual size of salmon fish is 70 to 76 cm and it is of a species which is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
large in size
.
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IELTS academic the diagram below show the life cycle of species of large fish called the salmon

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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