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The two pictorial diagrams compare the Grange Park from 1920 to the present date.

The two pictorial diagrams compare the Grange Park from 1920 to the present date. k6g7K
The two pictorial diagrams compare the Grange Park from 1920 to the present date. Overall, it is clearly seen that significant changes is done in park view for seating arrangements and rose gardens. However, new area for children play ground, water feature and the amphitheatre for concerts is developed. Looking at the detailed information, there has been no change in entrance of the garden. However, in the past fountain was there in middle of the garden and now instead of it, rose garden is established. Addition to this all the seating arrangements placed around rose garden which is not there in 1920. In north east area there were ponds available for water plants now huge play area for children is built not only these but rose garden in same area replaced with the cafe. Currently in west side of garden, large area is occupied by Amphitheatre where concerts are organized, but in 1920, musicians stage were there. In place of glasshouse now beautiful water feature is established. Apart from this, new underground car parking is created and entry of it is from south east corner. No changes are seen in rose garden of north west area and garden location which is still between Arnold avenue and Eldon street.
The two pictorial diagrams compare the Grange Park from 1920 to the present date.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
is done
in park view for seating arrangements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
.
However
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for children play ground, water feature and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
for concerts
is developed
.

Looking at the detailed information, there has been no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in entrance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
.
However
, in the past fountain was there in middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
instead
of it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
is established
. Addition to this all the seating arrangements placed around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
which is not there in 1920. In
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north east
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
there were ponds available for water plants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
huge play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for children
is built
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
replaced with the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
in west side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is occupied
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'Amphitheatre' is British English.
Amphitheatre
where concerts
are organized
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 1920, musicians stage were there. In place of glasshouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
water feature
is established
. Apart from this, new underground car parking
is created
and entry of it is from
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
corner. No
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
location which is
still
between Arnold avenue and Eldon street.
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IELTS academic The two pictorial diagrams compare the Grange Park from 1920 to the present date.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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