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the amount of foreign pupils at the college on the south of england

the amount of foreign pupils at the college on the south of england VlYg6
The chart illustrates the amount of foreign pupils at the college which is located on the south of England. It is immediately apparent that the student from Sweden is the highest among others, whereas Syria is the lowest. The amount of students from Germany and France are equal Most female students re in photography college and each country has more girls enrolled there except Syria. Sweden reaches the peak at 9, whereas Syria is at 3. Germany and France are at 7. Every country except Spain has more female students. None of girls are enrolled in photography core option in Syria. Overall, more female students are in photography core option whereas more male students are in CAD core option.
The chart illustrates the amount of foreign pupils at the college which
is located
on the south of England.

It is immediately apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from Sweden is the highest among others, whereas Syria is the lowest. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Germany and France are equal Most female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
re in photography college and each country has more girls enrolled there except Syria.

Sweden reaches the peak at 9, whereas Syria is at 3. Germany and France are at 7. Every country except Spain has more female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. None of girls
are enrolled
in photography core option in Syria.
Overall
, more female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in photography core option whereas more male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in CAD core option.
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IELTS academic the amount of foreign pupils at the college on the south of england

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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