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The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

Living in a country where people do not speak your mother language could grave social drawbacks, as well as practical drawbacks. In my opinion, I argue that people living in a foreign country can face serious issues such as language barrier and A lack of social life. To begin with, people must communicate with society which they live in. When people easily cannot with VERB? ? ? people due to language differences, they have trouble in daily life. This might cause unpredictable issues such as feeling homesick and bored. For example, half of the migrations come back TO their countries because of these problems. Therefore, having communication problemS is A significant problem THAT could even result with IN leaving THAT foreign country. Another point to consider is that a social life is needed to live mentally healthy HEALTHILY and having a social life in a different country. ? ? Its main reason that, connecting efficiently is? ? ? tough for those who do not speak their mother language. In other words, when native people speak fast and use many idioms, foreign people cannot understand fully FULL conservation CONVERSATION. As a result, they could CANnot feel that they are a part of this society and they might feel homesick. Finally, people living in a foreign country could have economic problems. Company owners do not employ those WHO do not speak THAT common language fluently. Moreover, they sometimes have to work for less money than minimum-wage. That is why, they may have economic problems additionally IN ADDITION TO other issues. To conclude, living in a society where people do not use their own language causeS some PROBLEMS. In my view, these problems, such as economic issues and social life problems, could be really serious and it might deeply affect their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
your mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could grave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
drawbacks,
as well
as practical drawbacks. In my opinion, I argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can face serious issues such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier and A lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
communicate with society which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
cannot with VERB? ? ?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
differences, they have trouble in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This might cause unpredictable issues such as feeling homesick and bored.
For example
, half of the migrations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back TO their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, having communication
Possible spelling mistake found.
problemS
is A significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
THAT could even result with IN leaving THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country.

Another point to consider is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
mentally healthy
HEALTHILY
and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. ? ? Its main reason that, connecting
efficiently
is? ? ?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
tough
for those who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
In other words
, when native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
idioms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot understand
fully
FULL conservation CONVERSATION.
As a result
, they could
Possible spelling mistake found.
CANnot
feel that they are a part of this
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they might feel homesick.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could have economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
owners do not employ those WHO do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
THAT common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
fluently
.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for less money than minimum-wage.
That is
why, they may have economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
additionally
IN ADDITION
TO other issues.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a society where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
Possible spelling mistake found.
causeS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEMS
. In my view, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as economic issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, could be
really
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
serious and
it might
deeply
affect their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
.
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IELTS academic The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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