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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1

The pie chart illustrates, number individuals are unemployed, employed or are doing further education immediately after leaving secondary school in Australia for three years 1980, 1990 and 2000. In the year 1980, half of the individuals engaged in further education and 40% people got jobs and were employed, the remaining 10% stood unemployed. In 1990, 50% people got employed. Whereas, 12% people were unemployed. And, 38% students opted for further education for completing thier secondary schooling. In 2000, a little more than half of the people got jobs. On the contrary, 8% individuals were found to be unemployed. The other 37% people choose further education immediately after leaving the high school. Therefore, for all three decades 1980, 1990 and 2000 the percentage of individuals opting for further education or seeking jobs is more. On the other hand, the minimum percentage for all three decades can be seen for unemployed persons.
The pie chart illustrates, number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
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unemployed
, employed or are doing
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further
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education
immediately after leaving secondary school in Australia for three years 1980, 1990 and 2000.

In the year 1980, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
engaged in
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further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and 40%
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jobs and
were employed
, the remaining 10% stood
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unemployed
. In 1990, 50%
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, 12%
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people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
. And, 38% students opted for
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further
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education
for completing
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
secondary schooling. In 2000, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jobs.
On the contrary
, 8%
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individuals
were found
to be
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unemployed
. The other 37%
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people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
immediately after leaving the high school.

Therefore
, for all three decades 1980, 1990 and 2000 the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or seeking jobs is more.
On the other hand
, the minimum percentage for all three decades can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
persons.
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IELTS academic The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1