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The two graph show the highest ranking medal winner of all time in summer and Winter Olympics write relevant feature and comparison

The two graph show the highest ranking medal winner of all time in summer and Winter Olympics write relevant feature and comparison Vly2m
The two bar chart illustrate the highest ranking medal winners for two kinds of Olympics, Winter and summer. Overall, Norway had the highest ranking in the Winter Olympics. Also, United States and Russia had the highest ranking in the both two seasons but, the numbers of medals in Russia failed down in the Winter Olympics. According to what is shown, in Winter Olympics, Norway had take the first one from the top five countries by just over 350 and the United State had the seconded highest numbers of medals by roughly 300, whilst Russia had the lowest ranking about under 200. About Canada, it didn’t rank as low as Russia but it took the place because it had the lowest number of gold medals. Regarding Summer Olympics, United States had the highest ranking of medals by approximately 2500 however France has the lowest ranking by just over 500. Also, Russia and Germany had almost the same numbers by just over 1500.
The two bar chart illustrate the highest
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ranking
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medal
winners for two kinds of Olympics,
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Winter
and summer.

Overall
, Norway had the highest
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ranking
in the
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Winter
Olympics.
Also
, United States and Russia had the highest
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ranking
in the both two seasons
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but
, the
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numbers
of
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medals
in Russia failed down in the
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Winter
Olympics.

According to what
is shown
, in
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Winter
Olympics, Norway had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "taken".
take
the
first
one from the top five countries by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 350 and the United State had the seconded
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
by roughly 300, whilst Russia had the lowest
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ranking
about under 200. About Canada, it didn’t rank as low as Russia
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but
it took the place
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because
it had the lowest
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number
of gold medals.

Regarding Summer Olympics, United States had the highest
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ranking
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
by approximately 2500
however
Possible agreement error. The noun 'France' seems to be countable, so consider using: "Frances".
France
has the lowest
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ranking
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 500.
Also
, Russia and Germany had almost the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 1500.
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IELTS academic The two graph show the highest ranking medal winner of all time in summer and Winter Olympics write relevant feature and comparison

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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