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The illustration below shows how wool is manufactured.

The illustration below shows how wool is manufactured. Nmw9W
The process diagram illustrates the various steps involved in the manufacturing of wool. There are 6 steps invloved in this process. To begin with, to remove the fleece the sheeps are sheared. The next step invloves the transportation to the mill where the fleece are baled. In the third step, we have to place the fleece in water in order to remove the dirt. In the fouth step, tge fleece are removed from the water and are placed on the carding machine so that they can be obtained in the form of sheets where the machine combs the loose wool fibers next, the sheets are twisted into a rope which is known as the silver. After this, thin yarn is made by stretching the silver and by twisting it. Finally, we get the wool which are rolled in a form of a ball. In conclusion, it is important to follow the aforementioned steps with atmost precision in order to achieve the desired results.
The process diagram illustrates the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
involved in the manufacturing of wool. There are 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
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invloved
in this process. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, to remove the
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fleece
the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
are sheared
. The
next
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step
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invloves
the transportation to the mill where the
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fleece
are baled
. In the third
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step
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
place the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
in water in order to remove the dirt. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fouth
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step
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
are removed
from the water and
are placed
on the carding machine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be obtained
in the form of sheets where the machine combs the loose wool fibers
next
, the sheets
are twisted
into a rope which
is known
as the silver. After this, thin yarn
is made
by stretching the silver and by twisting it.
Finally
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the wool which
are rolled
in a form of a ball.
In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to follow the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
atmost
precision in order to achieve the desired results.

IELTS academic The illustration below shows how wool is manufactured.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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