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the two diagrams beneath provide information about the stage and tool used in the process of cement-making and how cement is used to produce concrete for aim of building

the two diagrams beneath provide information about the stage and tool used in the process of cement-making and how cement is used to produce concrete for aim of building weJ13
the two diagrams beneath provide information about the stage and tool used in the process of cement-making and how cement is used to produce concrete for aim of building. It can be seen that the cement-making method involves variety of stage, beginning from crushing of limestone and clay and ending with contain in bag. In the first process, limestone and clay is crushed together and become powder. Then powder is mix together after that it flow down to rotate by heater. Finally, powder is grinded which grinding powder it call cement. Cement will pack in bags for using in production of concrete. The process of produce concrete is only simple that it start from mixing of cement, sand, water and gravel together by concrete mixer. The ratio of concrete is gravel which is small stones in an half, sand in one-fourths, cement in 15 percent and water in 10 percent. After that concrete finish and already for use in building.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
two diagrams beneath provide information about the stage and tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the process of cement-making and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce concrete for aim of building. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the cement-making method involves variety of stage, beginning from crushing of limestone and clay and ending with contain in bag.

In the
first
process, limestone and clay
is crushed
together and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powder
. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powder
is mix together after that it flow down to rotate by heater.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powder
is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "ground", the past tense form of the verb 'grind'?
grinded
which grinding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powder
it
Did you mean "calls"?
call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cement
will pack in bags for using in production of concrete.

The process of produce concrete is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
simple that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from mixing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, sand, water and gravel together by concrete mixer. The ratio of concrete is gravel which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
half, sand in one-fourths,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
in 15 percent and water in 10 percent. After that concrete finish and already for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in building.
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IELTS academic the two diagrams beneath provide information about the stage and tool used in the process of cement-making and how cement is used to produce concrete for aim of building

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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