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The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two various courses in a single university, taken from two successive years.

The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two various courses in a single university, taken from two successive years. J11D
The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two various courses in a single university, taken from two successive years. To begin, about 62% history graduate get into the job in first year as well as near about 73% engineering also employed. More business graduates continued higher education than engineering alumni in both years and the gap between these two groups was more or less 15%. Moreover, a higher percentage of business alumni took their time out, around 8% to be more precise, than the engineering graduates, who accounted for nearly 2%-3% in this category. Finally, roughly one out of ten who completed their engineering degree was seeking for a job and their ratio was more than double than the business graduates who were also looking for a job. Interestingly, in the second year, a slightly higher percentage from both groups had jobs and a marginally fewer were enrolled in further studies than the first year. To sum up, even though, at first glance, it seems more promising to study history in terms of finding a job, the explanation may lie in the tendency of students studying history to spend additional years in further study.
The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two various courses in a single university, taken from two successive years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, about 62% history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as well
as near about 73%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
also
employed. More business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
continued higher education than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
alumni in both years and the gap between these two groups was more or less 15%.
Moreover
, a higher percentage of business alumni took their time out, around 8% to be more precise, than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, who accounted for
nearly
2%-3% in this category.
Finally
, roughly one out of ten who completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
degree was seeking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and their ratio was more than double than the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
who were
also
looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Interestingly
, in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, a
slightly
higher percentage from both groups had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and a
marginally
fewer
were enrolled
in
further
studies than the
first
year.

To sum up,
even though
, at
first
glance, it seems more promising to study history in terms of finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the explanation may lie in the tendency of students studying history to spend additional years in
further
study.
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IELTS academic The two bar charts give key information about the state of students six months after graduation from two various courses in a single university, taken from two successive years.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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