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These bar charts illustrate what the graduates of engineering and history degrees were like for six months after graduating in two different years.

These bar charts illustrate what the graduates of engineering and history degrees were like for six months after graduating in two different years. Qxx1
These bar charts illustrate what the graduates of engineering and history degrees were like for six months after graduating in two different years. Most of the graduates worked six months after the end of the course, and among engineering graduates, this figure was slightly higher than that of the alumni of a history degree. One noticeable aspect/trend in the charts is that in the second year of work, the employment rate in each group was slightly higher, while the number of graduates involved in further education, in contrast, decreased slightly compared to the first year. The history course has about 64% and 68% of graduates that are started working after six months of the graduation in the first and second years of study respectively, while employed engineers' percentage at that time was around 75% and 78%. In two years, there were more graduates from the historic degree that continued their further education than the number of engineering alumni, and the difference between these two groups was approximately 15%. Also, a higher percentage (8%) of history degree alumni took their time out, in comparison with the engineering graduates, which is nearly only 3%. So, about one in ten engineering graduates were looking for work, and twice more history degree graduates were also finding a job.
These bar charts illustrate what the
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graduates
of
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engineering
and
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history
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degrees
were like for six months after graduating in two
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different
years. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
worked six months after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the course, and among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
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graduates
, this figure was
slightly
higher than that of the alumni of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
degree.

One noticeable aspect/trend in the charts is that in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of work, the employment rate in each group was
slightly
higher, while the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
involved in
further
education,
in contrast
, decreased
slightly
compared to the
first
year.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
course has about 64% and 68% of
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graduates
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working after six months of the graduation in the
first
and second years of study
respectively
, while employed engineers' percentage at that time was around 75% and 78%. In two years, there were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
from the historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
that continued their
further
education than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
alumni, and the difference between these two groups was approximately 15%.

Also
, a higher percentage (8%) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
alumni took their time out,
in comparison
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, which is
nearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, about one in ten
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engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were looking for work, and twice more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were
also
finding a job.
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IELTS academic These bar charts illustrate what the graduates of engineering and history degrees were like for six months after graduating in two different years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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