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The bar chart illustrates the fate of graduates of history and engineering specialties of the university six months after graduation - in two different years.

The bar chart illustrates the fate of graduates of history and engineering specialties of the university six months after graduation - in two different years. qyyE
The bar chart illustrates the fate of graduates of history and engineering specialties of the university six months after graduation - in two different years. Overall, it can be seen that most of the graduates were employed after graduation, and this ratio was slightly higher for engineering graduates. Following the diagram, in the first year 63% of graduates found a job, while in the second year this number increased slightly to 68%. Also, more historians continued in the first year than in the second year. In both years, the same number of graduates took a break. Moreover, in the second year, the number of job seekers decreased. If we pay attention to the graduates of the engineering course, then in both years the number of employed was high, 73 and 79 percent, respectively. Compared to historians, fewer people continued to study and took a break in both years. But there are more promises of job seekers.
The bar chart illustrates the fate of
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graduates
of history and engineering specialties of the university six months after graduation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were employed
after graduation, and this ratio was
slightly
higher for engineering graduates.

Following the diagram, in the
first
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year
63% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
found a job, while in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased
slightly
to 68%.
Also
, more historians continued in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
than in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In both years, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
took a break.
Moreover
, in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of job seekers decreased.

If we pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of the engineering course, then in both years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of employed was high, 73 and 79 percent,
respectively
. Compared to historians, fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continued to study and took a break in both years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are more promises of job seekers.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the fate of graduates of history and engineering specialties of the university six months after graduation - in two different years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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