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Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? WBBe
Soccer is most watched game in the world. I totally agree that world sports events bring people together and mend the differences. My essay will solidify the opinion with appropriate examples. Sports is one of the greatest source of entertainment since the man started playing it. I think great international events bring strangers together. Consequently people of different nationalities come to cheer their sports icons. Every post game become talk of the table for fans, For instance foot ball game between Chelsea and Liver pool is treat for their fans, Eventually enjoy every moment. More-over on various occasions these events were organized between nations to ease the political tension and clouds of war, For example in olden times Greece used to stop the war in order to take part in the Olympics. In the light of the fact, these events bring enormous economical benefits. In today's global village, People travel to witness these competitions, Hence local Hospitality industry get immense financial boost, Therefore in the light of the facts countries avoid conflicts with different participating countries for economic favors and Making event successful. On number of occasions it put country in limelight of appreciation. For example our country build worlds biggest cricket stadium which was inaugurated by American president. It was the greatest milestone for India and Solidify our presence among Cricket playing Nations. I would like to conclude that, It's aptly said that sports can bring countries together and give a chance to solve the differences.
Soccer is most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
game in the world. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that world sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together and mend the differences. My essay will solidify the opinion with appropriate examples.

Sports is one of the greatest source of entertainment since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
great international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
strangers together.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to cheer their sports icons. Every post game become talk of the table for fans,
For instance
foot ball game between Chelsea and Liver pool is treat for their fans,
Eventually
enjoy every moment.

More-over on various occasions these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
were organized
between nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the political tension and clouds of war,
For example
in olden times Greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the war in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the Olympics.

In the light of the fact, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
enormous
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's global village,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
travel to witness these competitions,
Hence
local Hospitality industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
immense financial boost,
Therefore
in the light of the facts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
avoid conflicts with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
participating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for economic favors and Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
successful.

On number of occasions it put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in limelight of appreciation.
For example
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
build worlds
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
cricket stadium which
was inaugurated
by American president. It was the greatest milestone for India and Solidify our presence among Cricket playing Nations.

I would like
to conclude
that, It's
aptly
said that sports can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
together and give a chance to solve the differences.
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IELTS academic Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion?

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
247 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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