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the tow maps below shoe a town centre in 1865 and 2015

the tow maps below shoe a town centre in 1865 and 2015 Wnbm5
The maps illustrate the current and previous center of a town, comparing its layouts in 1865 with how they appeared in 2015. Overall, the town center appears to have a development in the modern area with improved transportation. Significant development is shown on the west part of the town. In the east side of the town, the bank and the post office are replaced by a large train station, with these two having been moved to the other side of High St. , where a market used to be in the 1865. Crossing the High Street, right after Brassey and Edge Road, houses and a small school were shown on the map of 1865, but in 2015 they all are replaced by a bus station and a leisure center on the North side of High Street, while on the South side the school became bigger so it has expanded the entire block. In the west side of the town, the existence of the river and farm is invisible, while a boating lake was created and a park by the side. Also, two new streets have appeared that separate the west side in 4 parts, where the town is in the same location with a travel agent next to it and across the street there is a huge supermarket next to a dentist’s and a doctor’s offices.
The maps illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and previous center of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, comparing its layouts in 1865 with how they appeared in 2015.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
center appears to have a development in the modern area with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
transportation. Significant development
is shown
on the west part of the town.

In the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, the bank and the post office
are replaced
by a large train station, with these two having been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the other side of High St.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
where a market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the 1865. Crossing the High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Street
, right after
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Brassey
and Edge Road,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
school
were shown
on the map of 1865,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2015 they all
are replaced
by a bus station and a leisure center on the North side of High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Street
, while on the South side the school became bigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has expanded the entire block.

In the west side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, the existence of the river and farm is invisible, while a boating lake
was created
and a park by the side.
Also
, two new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
have appeared that separate the west side in 4 parts, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is in the same location with a travel agent
next
to it and across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
there is a huge supermarket
next
to a dentist’s and a doctor’s offices.

IELTS academic the tow maps below shoe a town centre in 1865 and 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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