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Percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA.

Percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA. BwklX
The three pie charts illustrate the daily intake of nutrients on an average by a person in USA. Where there are three nutrients considered which are sodium, saturated fat and added sugar. overall the sodium and saturated fat consuming percentage is high in dinner. whereas, added sugar percentage is more at the time of snakes. However, the less percentage of consuming all the three nutrients is at the time of breakfast. Whereas, the sodium consuming percentage in all the meal times can be seen as in breakfast it is 14%, in lunch it is 29%, in snakes its again 14% and in dinner it is 43%. Know coming to the saturated fat, which is consumed high on dinner and less on breakfast and at lunch it is 26%, at snakes it is 16%. Added sugar is consumed more likely on snakes and at breakfast its 16% and at lunch its 19% whereas, at dinner its 23%.
The three pie charts illustrate the daily intake of nutrients on an average by a person
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. Where there are three nutrients considered which are sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
the sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is more at the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snakes
.
However
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of consuming all the three nutrients is at the time of breakfast.

Whereas, the sodium consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in all the meal times can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as in breakfast it is 14%, in lunch it is 29%, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snakes
its again 14% and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
it is 43%. Know coming to the saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, which
is consumed
high on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and less on breakfast and at lunch it is 26%, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snakes
it is 16%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
sugar
is consumed
more likely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snakes
and at breakfast its 16% and at lunch its 19% whereas, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
its 23%.

IELTS academic Percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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