Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Given are three pie charts illustrating the annual expenditure of a particular academic institution in Great Britain in different three years (1981, 1991 and 2001) Overall, the spending of the salaries of teachers in 2001 remained the greatest of the total, followed by cost on furniture and equipment, despite a rapid reduction in 1991. With regard to teachers’ salaries, the percentage of that contributed precisely 40% to 45% from 1981 to 2001 after reaching a peak in 1991, which accounted for 50%. At the same time, the proportion of furniture and equipment saw an 8% rise from 15% to 23% over the time, while it reached a low point at only 5% in 2001. Meanwhile, the spending of other workers’ salaries and resources (e. g. books) were witnessed a deduction of 13% and 6% respectively in the period given. Notably, this school spent nearly triple money on insurance in 2001 (8%) compare to that in 1981 (2%). To conclude, most of the money was spent on payment of salaries. In addition, school paid more and more money on insurance during 30 years given.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
three pie charts illustrating the annual expenditure of a particular academic institution in Great Britain in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
three years (1981, 1991 and 2001)

Overall
, the spending of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of teachers in 2001 remained the greatest of the total, followed by cost on furniture and equipment, despite a rapid reduction in 1991.

With regard to teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, the percentage of that contributed
precisely
40% to 45% from 1981 to 2001 after reaching a peak in 1991, which accounted for 50%. At the same time, the proportion of furniture and equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an 8% rise from 15% to 23% over the time, while it reached a low point at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in 2001.

Meanwhile, the spending of other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and resources (
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
books)
were witnessed
a deduction of 13% and 6%
respectively
in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
Notably
, this school spent
nearly
triple money on insurance in 2001 (8%) compare to that in 1981 (2%).

To conclude
, most of the money
was spent
on payment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
In addition
, school paid more and more money on insurance during 30 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS academic The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts