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The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a new shopping complex in Auckland,New Zealand.

The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. 9L5r7
The tables and pie chart illustrates the result of observation of a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand. The scale is in percentage. To begin with, the number of males shoppers who satisfied with shops were 62% and female shoppers were 9% more than that which were 71% satisfied with shops. Male and female did not satisfied with shops were same 20%. However the male shoppers were 18% not given their review which was doubled then femal. Apart from that 80% of male Shoppers and 59% of female shoppers were satisfied with the restaurants. Total 26% of male and female not satisfied with restaurant. On the other hand, 15%male shoppers and 20% female Shoppers not give their comments. Moreover in shopping 79% people satisfied with design in which 17% of people were very satisfied and 10% people not satisfied with it. In contrast 11% people did not given their review about design. Overall, more number of female satisfied with Shopping Complex and high rate of male not given their review.
The tables and pie chart illustrates the result of observation of a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand. The scale is in percentage.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with shops were 62% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
were 9% more than that which were 71%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with shops. Male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "satisfy"
satisfied
with shops were same 20%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
were 18% not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their review which
was doubled
then
Possible spelling mistake found.
femal
. Apart from that 80% of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shoppers
and 59% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with the restaurants. Total 26% of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with restaurant.
On the other hand
, 15%male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
and 20%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shoppers
not give their comments.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in shopping 79%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with design in which 17% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with it. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
11%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "give"?
given
their review about design.

Overall
, more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with Shopping Complex and high rate of male not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their review.
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IELTS academic The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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