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The table shows the reasons for attending the arts -UK adults

The table shows the reasons for attending the arts -UK adults PgDmp
The table illustrates four reasons of attending to the arts events in twenty years among adults in the UK. At first glance it is evident that the most significant reason for it was desiring to see specific performers or artists during twenty years while the least cause depended on work or business. The proportion of people who attended events out of a desire to see a particular artist has remained relatively constant during the twenty year period: differing from 58% two decades ago to 56% today. On the other hand, there was a dramatic increase in accompanying children. It changed from 9% twenty years ago to 15% in a decade and just under a quarter today. To contrast, the reason of this activity varied gradually among adults who have a special opportunity from 27% twenty years ago to a fifth in ten years and decreased sharply to 9% today. Howewer, the percentage of people who attended the arts on business or work increased minimally from 6% to one in ten in twenty years and it represents 11% today.
The table illustrates four reasons of attending to the arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in twenty years among adults in the UK. At
first
glance it is evident that the most significant reason for it was desiring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
specific performers or artists during twenty years while the least cause depended on work or business. The proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who attended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
out of a desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a particular artist has remained
relatively
constant during the twenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period: differing from 58% two decades ago to 56%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
On the other hand
, there was a dramatic increase in accompanying children. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from 9% twenty years ago to 15% in a decade and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under a quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. To contrast, the reason of this activity varied
gradually
among adults who have a special opportunity from 27% twenty years ago to a fifth in ten years and decreased
sharply
to 9%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howewer
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who attended the arts on business or work increased
minimally
from 6% to one in ten in twenty years and it represents 11%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the reasons for attending the arts -UK adults

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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