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The table shows the reason for studying the English language for the people of Japan. The information is based on a survey that was conducted in the year 2000.

The table shows the reason for studying the English language for the people of Japan. The information is based on a survey that was conducted in the year 2000. AjLeN
The given table is based on a survey of the year 2000 and related to the fact that influenced Japanese for studying English languages. Looking at all overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the majority of people wanted to travel abroad by learning English. Whereas, the least striking reason was work abroad. Having a glimpse at the information reveals that after travelling abroad, the most prevalent reason to learn English was business tours about 39 percents. Less than 10 percents of people were studying the International language for the purposes to work abroad and training provided by the employer. Shifting to the remaining data, for the purpose of promotion in an existing job just 17 percents of people had studied English. Japanese learnt English for having a foreign spouse and making new friends by 11 percents and 17 percents respectively. Only 19 percents of Japanese had studied English for the reason of study abroad.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
is based
on a survey of the year 2000 and related to the fact that influenced Japanese for studying English languages. Looking at all
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wanted to travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
by learning English.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the least striking reason was work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. Having a glimpse at the information reveals that after travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, the most prevalent reason to learn English was business tours about 39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
. Less than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were studying the International language for the purposes to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
and training provided by the employer. Shifting to the remaining data, for the purpose of promotion in an existing job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had studied English. Japanese
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
English for having a foreign spouse and making new friends by 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
and 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
respectively
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
of Japanese had studied English for the reason of study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the reason for studying the English language for the people of Japan. The information is based on a survey that was conducted in the year 2000.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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