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The table shows the proportion of pupils attending for scan re school diets between 2000 2009 some rice information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table shows the proportion of pupils attending for scan re school diets between 2000 2009 some rice information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant eb62B
The table Chart represents the percentage of students attendance among four different types (Specialist, Grammar, Voluntary-controlled and Community schools) from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it can be clearly inferred that the proportion of first three school learners fell down over a given period of time while attendees of community schools increased. Firstly, the percentage of specialist and community schools children stayed at 12% in 2000. After five years, the percentage of community schools rised drastically to 38% and finally reached a peak value of more than 50% in the last year whereas negligible change occurred in the data of former school. Secondly, between 2000 and 2005, the proportion of individuals choosing Grammer schools decreased slowly from 24% to 19% and followed this pattern till the final year. Apart from this, Voluntary-controlled schools used to have highest percentage of students in 2000: more than 50%. Moreover, it plunged sharply to 20% in 2000.
The table Chart represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of students attendance among four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types (Specialist, Grammar, Voluntary-controlled and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools)
from 2000 to 2009.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
inferred that the proportion of
first
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learners fell down over a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time while attendees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
increased.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of specialist and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
children stayed at 12% in 2000. After five years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
drastically
to 38% and
finally
reached a peak value of more than 50% in the last year whereas negligible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
occurred in the data of former school.

Secondly
, between 2000 and 2005, the proportion of individuals choosing
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grammer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
decreased
slowly
from 24% to 19% and followed this pattern till the final year. Apart from this, Voluntary-controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of students in 2000: more than 50%.
Moreover
, it plunged
sharply
to 20% in 2000.
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IELTS academic The table shows the proportion of pupils attending for scan re school diets between 2000 2009 some rice information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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