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The table shows the medal tally of London Olympic games

The table shows the medal tally of London Olympic games wBonY
The table illustrates the number of three different medals such as Gold, Silver and Bronze won by ten countries including two asian countries and rest of them were europe in Olympic Games which was held in London in the year 2012 Overall, United states performed actively by remaining in the first position among them whereas Hungary remained in the last position. United states won 46 gold which was more than China and Great Britain by 8 and 12. Both Germany and France won 11 gold while Italy and Hungary to earned a little less than Germany and France that was 8. Regarding silver, countries like United States China and Russia took more than twenty but less than 28. Great Britain and Germany won more number of silver medal by 6 and 9 compared to France. Moving further, Russia had 32 bronze medal which was the highest among those nine countries. United states and China achieved similar number of bronze that was 29 and 23. Italy and Australia got double times less than United state.
The table illustrates the number of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medals such as Gold, Silver and Bronze won by ten
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countries
including two
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
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countries
and rest of them were
Possible spelling mistake found.
europe
in Olympic Games which
was held
in London in the year 2012

Overall
,
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United
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states
performed
actively
by remaining in the
first
position among them whereas Hungary remained in the last position.

United
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states
won 46 gold which was more than China and Great Britain by 8 and 12. Both Germany and France won 11 gold while Italy and Hungary
Did you mean "to earn"?
to earned
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than Germany and France that was 8.

Regarding silver,
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countries
like
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United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
China and Russia took more than twenty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less than 28. Great Britain and Germany won more number of silver medal by 6 and 9
Possible agreement error. The noun 'compared' seems to be countable, so consider using: "compares".
compared
to France.

Moving
further
, Russia had 32 bronze
Possible agreement error. The noun 'medal' seems to be countable, so consider using: "medals".
medal
which was the highest among those nine
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countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
and China achieved similar number of bronze that was 29 and 23. Italy and Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
double times less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the medal tally of London Olympic games

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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