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The table shows the data about underground railway system

The table shows the data about underground railway system 26NVM
The given table illustrates information regarding the underground railway system of six main cities of the world and displays launched date, amount of the travelers and detail of the routes in kilometres annually. After a glance, at the table is clear that London was the first to have an underground railway system which started in 1863 with the highest number of kilometres 394 tracks. After London, Kyoto was the second city to built an underground railways system in 1981 but the number of passengers and tracks were lowest only 11 Kms and just had 45 million travellers yearly. In addition, In 1900 followed by London and Kyoto Paris had also the same railway a system which included the second-highest kilometres routes 199 after London and 1, 191 million passengers per year. Furthermore, with the number of travellers Tokyo was on the top with 1, 928 million every once in 1927 Tokyo built it's underground railways system along with 155 kilometres track. In addition, In 1900 followed by London and Kyoto Paris had also the same railway a system which included second-highest kilometres routes 199 after London and 1, 191 million passengers per year. Furthermore, with the number of travellers Tokyo was on the top with 1, 928 million every once in 1927 Tokyo built it's underground railways system along with 155 kilometres track.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates information regarding the
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underground
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railway
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system
of six main cities of the world and displays launched date, amount of the travelers and detail of the routes in
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
annually
.

After a glance, at the table is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that London was the
first
to have an
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underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 1863 with the highest
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
394
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tracks
. After London, Kyoto was the second city
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
 an
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underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in 1981
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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number
of passengers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kms
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had 45
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
yearly.

In addition
, In 1900 followed by London and Kyoto Paris had
also
the same
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railway
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which included the second-highest 
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
routes 199 after London and 1, 191
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million
passengers per year.
Furthermore
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
Tokyo was on the top with 1, 928
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
every once in 1927 Tokyo built
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
along with 155
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.

In addition
, In 1900 followed by London and Kyoto Paris had
also
 the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which included second-highest
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
routes 199 after London and 1, 191
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
passengers per year.
Furthermore
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
Tokyo was on the top with 1, 928
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
every once in 1927 Tokyo built
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
along with 155
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the data about underground railway system

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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