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The table shows teachers salaries in 2009 in five countries

The table shows teachers salaries in 2009 in five countries Pkrgd
The given table depicts information about teachers salaries in 5 different countries in2009 Overall what stands out from the table is that It takes very more years to reach maximum salary in Luxembourg Japan however they began their careers with a big salary. When it comes to details of this table Chiles” teachers started their teaching activates at 46000 a month while after 15 years service payment was increased by 18000. We can see nearly the same numbers for Australian teachers starting 47000 reaching to maximum 56000 after 8 year South Korean workers wages was a bit less compare to other 3 countries. South Korean teachers were payed 23000 then after 15 years was increased to 35000 while it took many years get maximum salary (after 25 year 43000) Turning to High paying countries were Luxembourg and Japan whereas Their teachers, begun their carrier with 80000 and 68000 in turn/ Them was paid 112000 and 124000 salary after 15 years respectively on the other hand it took significantly many years to reach big payment in Japan 37 Luxembourg 30 years
The
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given
table depicts information about
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teachers
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salaries
in 5
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different
countries in2009

Overall
what stands out from the table is that It takes
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very
more years to reach maximum
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salary
in Luxembourg Japan
however
they began their careers with a
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big
salary.

When it
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comes
to
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details
of this table
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Chiles
”
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teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their teaching activates at 46000 a month while after 15 years service payment
was increased
by 18000. We can
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see
nearly
the same numbers for Australian
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teachers
starting 47000 reaching to maximum 56000 after 8
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year
South Korean workers wages was a bit less compare to other 3 countries. South Korean
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teachers
were
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
23000 then after 15 years
was increased
to 35000 while it took
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many
years
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get
maximum
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salary
(after 25
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year
43000) Turning to High paying countries were Luxembourg and Japan whereas Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, begun their carrier with 80000 and 68000 in turn/ Them
was paid
112000 and 124000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
after 15 years
respectively
on the other hand
it took
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to reach
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big
payment in Japan 37 Luxembourg 30
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
years
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IELTS academic The table shows teachers salaries in 2009 in five countries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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