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mobile phone global sales

mobile phone global sales Eqppx
In this Brief, a chart below demonstrates the global sales of the top five mobile phones in the period of 2009 to 2013. In addition, 2010 will not be included in the essay since it is not mentioned in the chart. Firstly, the top five brands are Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and finally ZTE. Starting with Nokia In 2009, The brand was viral and it was the most seller brand at the time. While Samsung brand was half of Nokia's globally sales. When it comes to Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE. They were too far away from these two giant leading brands. In 2011, The two competing brands were still on top but with slight differences, Samsung continued to rise on the list however, Nokia slightly declined, as LG did. While on the other hand, Apple and ZTE Increment. In 2013, the chart illustrate a noticeably remarkable change, Samsung dominated the list with a dramatic increase. At the same time, Nokia Collapsed suddenly that is now far away from Samsung. In conclusion, Samsung is leading the list with no brand to compete.
In this Brief, a chart below demonstrates the global sales of the top five mobile phones in the period of 2009 to 2013.
In addition
, 2010 will not
be included
in the essay since it is not mentioned in the chart.

Firstly
, the top five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and
finally
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
. Starting with Nokia In 2009, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
was viral and it was the most seller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
at the time.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
was half of Nokia's globally sales. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to Apple, Nokia, LG, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
. They were too far away from these two giant leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. In 2011, The two competing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
were
still
on top
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with slight differences, Samsung continued to rise on the list
however
, Nokia
slightly
declined, as LG did. While
on the other hand
, Apple and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
Increment. In 2013, the chart illustrate a
noticeably
remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, Samsung dominated the list with a dramatic increase. At the same time, Nokia Collapsed
suddenly
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
far away from Samsung.

In conclusion
, Samsung is leading the list with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
to compete.
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IELTS academic mobile phone global sales

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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